I chose to be

I want this love in my life
to show me what went wrong
maybe it's not as bad as I think it is
maybe I'm not that strong

no, I haven't tried to take my own life
yes, I'm lying
no, I haven't thought of committing suicide
everything's fine
again, I'm lying

I want more from life than just happiness
I want sacrifice
I want pain
I want to feel hurt
without any shame

there's a whole in my body
that can't be filled
no matter how loved I've felt
it makes me want to melt

I can't escape this life
this is who I am
I don't want to be somebody else
there's no one else I could possibly be

this is who I am
this is what I chose to be